Blacken Rose Petal

I can not handle the yelling and cursing at me, especially before a concert, enough is enough. I have watched my mom tell so many other women to stop the verval abuse and here am I taking it myself. Not listening to my grandmother when she said I needed to practice what I preach, was one heck of a blond moment. I thought this over since May and found that I was just keeping Jim around, so I would not find love again since loosing my family. Me someone that has fear, I would never have thought it would happen. What a powerful emotion and makes us do things we never would have thought we would do. Because of this I can finally have the compasion for someone going through something like this. Being with someone for over seven years was being married and it is a difficult decision that needs time to work through and six months is enough. He needs to leave. We both dont deserve being only just friends living under one roof. We need love and companionship, living like this is just living a lie and we have to move on. He told me tonight that once the ball starts rolling that is it. I had to write and take this picture to work this through. I have lived better half of my life with out having to depend upon someone to pay the bills and supposively have no saftey blanket. He is just blowing smoke and being trying to stay with me, and his ass is out of here. I do not like breaking his heart, because mine has been on a really rough road recently. My dad told me becareful when you are breaking someones heart, because you will be in their shoes someday. I have always tried to be this way. If it makes me look like I am weak then they shur the heck do not know me. I have been through some rough times in my life and I have always made it through. Grandma's advise to get through the best as you can and remember the good times, that is what makes me laugh when I can and enjoy life. I wish I could play a country western song backwards and get my dog back, my car running again, love back in my life, and not worry about what I will be doing after May. At this point I will try anything. My next door neighbor tells me I am not going to do it and kick him out. She knows I hate someone telling me something I can not do and gets me going to do what I need to do. This is my decision and I has to be for the right reason of me changing and moving on in life and him refusing to change. I need someone who wants to go outside and do things, not just rot away with tv on 24/7. I want to live life and enjoy it with someone. I still do not like hurting someone to have to move on in life, but it is something that has to be dealt with.